Behind the scene with Glam Magazine April 2013 issue

Blessed Mother's Day

My mother is the strongest, wisest and kindest woman I know and have the privilege of calling "mummy".

If I can be at least 1/8th of my mother, I would be so honored. She means the world to us.

And now I am a mother to two girls and stepmom to an 18 year old teen.

I knew I wanted to be a mother to many, many children at the age of 12 when I was in charge of babysitting my young cousins and my (not so) baby brother. I loved the role and I could not wait to start my own family.

Isobel Daniella was my first bundle of joy. And we went through quite a feat. Well. I did. She just kept me sane and strong. And I thank God for her.

Iman Daniella is the little tyrant in family. Our chancho. So much like her father. Just like her brother, Ariff - they share some common Azmi traits.

Ariff is my stepson. Or should I call him Azmi's son since he doesn't really call me Mom? His mum looks after him and well. It's a long story.

I never planned to be a stepmom, I never thought this would be my path - but believe me, I am trying to understand the intricacies of being one.

I hope to gather some insights on our Mother's Day Special today, on Bella ntv7, 130pm. Do you have tips to share?





Blessed Mother's Day to all Mom's everywhere around the world. You are our Queen of the Heart. xoxo

From this day on POST GE13

From this day on, I have vowed to be MORE proactive as a citizen of Malaysia. Instead of getting sucked into the negativites and "who did who wrong" agenda of BOTH parties, I will instead, focus on  what I, the lass on the street, can do to make our country healthier and safer. For starters, I will double my efforts in volunteering. Here are some sites you can logon to. Feel free to comment if you have more.

1. WAO http://www.wao.org.my/
2. AWAM http://www.awam.org.my/
3. This is a really good site that you can volunteer or seek volunteers from http://dosomething.gd/
4. TindakMalaysia
5. Tenaganita 
6. SUARAM
7. Sisters in Islam
8.LoyarBurok
9. Teach For Malaysia 
10.Teach For the Needs
11.UndiMsia
12. Centre for Independent Journalism
13. Ecoknights
14. Khatulistiwa 


Actually, the list is endless. You can also go to the candidate you support and follow his/her progress; see how you can help him/her and the team.

Please feel free to add on to the other social movements you know of and other volunteering posts ready for another hand!

love,

Daphne

A concerned citizen who loves Malaysia

"Director's Cut"

Some bits of my article this week on THE DIFFERENT SPIN column, were 'reconsidered' so am posting it here instead.
-----
I asked some friends and family of mine what positive changes would they like to see post GE13. Here is what they have to say:

"How does our Prime Minister intend to address the weakness of Chinese representation under Barisan Nasional?'" questions entrepreneur, Stephanie Tay.

There seems to be a lot of racial tension of late.

Talent agent, Geetha Anandaraj gets really upset when she is told to "go back to her country".

"Abolish race base politics/policies. Be transparent - honesty and integrity will take you further than you can ever imagine, including with the people in the rural areas, allow them to have equal access to information and that means free press as well. The government has to understand that they work for us and not vice versa."

-----

I just want a safe, non sexist, non racist, corrupt free and healthy Malaysia.

x

Can we all remain civilised?

Different Spin

THE STAR METRO

10th May, 2013

I am struggling to write my article this month; not because I have writer’s block or don’t have enough time on my hands. It’s simply because my column is due right after the 13^th General Election and it is almost impossible to not write my response to the whole aftermath which concluded a few days back.

I have mixed feelings to the whole fiasco.

The last time I felt so emotionally charged up was when Datuk Lee Chong Wei met his opponent Lin Dan during their badminton match in the 2012 Olympics. The only difference to that and my feelings post-GE13 is this; I felt Chong Wei’s silver medal win brought all Malaysians together and not further apart.

At 4:53pm last Sunday, I updated my status “I can’t wait for elections to be over. There’s too much bickering and hatred on my timeline of late, time to start loving and being a country again”.

Results have been officially announced and some winners have been sworn in to their respective posts. But the bickering has not stopped and neither has the nasty comments. I recall a tweet from a friend, “Enough already. This election is bringing out the worst in everyone. Kawan boleh jadi musuh (Friends can become enemies)”.

And this was unfortunately true.

I know friends who blocked and ‘unfriend-ed’ each other due to political differences. I have not gone this far although many a time, I’ve been tempted to do so towards (rude) strangers who follow me on twitter.

I am grateful my parents taught me that we should be civilized and polite to each other, even though we share different opinions. What happened to tact and courtesy? Why must we squabble with below-the-belt mudslinging, or with profanity and name-calling? (Again, if you want to “address” me by my race, it’s Kadazan Dusun, not Dayak Iban).

When I brought this up, someone tweeted back, “we live in a democratic country where freedom of speech is allowed. Suka hati kita macam mana kita nak express (it’s our perogative to express ourselves as how we like it).” (There was more to that, but as liberal as I am, I don’t condone the F-word).

Despite this aggravating pebble in my shoe, I see a light, silver lining to it. I am glad to see that social media has generated more interest amongst my generation, the youths and future leaders of our beloved Malaysia. There is more ‘ownership’ towards our nation and it provokes us to want to know our rights as citizens of Malaysia. For sure, there is definitely more room for mature and intelligent forums and discussions – be it on social media or during dialogues - but it’s a start. Rome wasn’t built in a day.

I wish to congratulate the winners and to wish them good luck in keeping up to their promises of delivering the best to the rakyat. I pray that all elected leaders will work together in making our country a better, safer place. My wish is to see a new government that is intelligent, compassionate, corrupt-free, non-racist and non-sexist.

I won’t be depending on them and my prayers alone though. Communication works best when there’s a two-way commune. After much thought, I have decided to move my polling station in Penampang, to where my new home is.

Someone told me not to.

“Sabah needs your vote more”

 But I’m going with my conscience. I want to be a more pro-active citizen and get involved in my own area- the area that my husband, children and I currently are living in. I have 5 years to see if my DUN and MP does his job in my area, so instead of being ‘highly interested’ with their capabilities only when election is near, I am going to start monitoring their progress from today onwards.

Although I can’t stop the (childish) bickering that’s taking place over virtual space, I can choose instead, to focus my energy and emotions into concrete actions. How can I, an average person on the street, make a difference in contributing to the betterment of our nation?

For starters, I will be more active in the causes I believe in. I will volunteer my time and effort in helping my community. And with so much that is being said over mainstream media and the internet, I have decided to see things for myself and not be swayed by the spin doctors of ‘journalism’. Thanks to the democracy we strive to have, I will attend dialogues and events that piques my interest and I refuse to be threatened in any way or by anyone, if someone dislikes or finds discomfort in my decision. This is my prerogative. 

Casting hate on others with different perspectives than your own, is not just emotionally draining but time consuming too. Best we use that energy and time to calmly find solutions and ways to build a healthier nation. TOGETHER.

Daphne says no to racism, sexism and corruption. Read the list of some organizations that you can volunteer your time and energy to on her blog: daphneiking.blogspot.com and follow her pictorial rants on instagram: daphneiking to see her irks and fancies.

PANDUAN UNTUK PENGUNDI MALAYSIA

Here are some guidelines for voters.

1. Semak status anda di www.spr.gov.my SEBELUM keluar mengundi.

Langkah 1: KLIK "SEMAKAN DAFTAR PEMILIH" dalam laman web SPR

Langkah 2: Masukkan NOMBOR KAD PENGENALAN anda dan maklumat

(Best print a copy just in case your name does not appear at the polling station)

2. Bring your IC with you. (Bawa KAD PENGENALAN/IC bersama anda)

3. Masa untuk Mengundi ialah dari jam 8:00 pagi hingga 5:00 petang. Anda digalakkan untuk keluar mengundi lebih awal

4. CARA UNTUK MENGUNDI:

a) Serahkan kad pengenalan anda kepada KERANI PENGUNDIAN (KP) 1. Pastikan KP1 memangkau nama anda di dalam Daftar Pemilir dan membacakan butiran anda dengan jelas

b) Pastikan jari telunjuk kiri anda ditanda dengan dakwat kekal oleh KP2. Becareful not to smudge the paper. or it will be an undi rosak)  (Why don't they do this AFTER we cast our votes beats me)

c) KP3 akan menyerahkan kertas undi kepada anda (make sure it's clean from any scribblings)

d) PANGKAH pilihan anda di kertas undi dalam petak undi

e) KP4 akan memastikan anda memasukkan kertas undi ke dalam peti undi.

PENGUNDI ADALAH BERTANGGUNGJAWAB UNTUK MEMAKLUMKAN KEPADA SPR SEKIRANYA TERDAPAT KESILAPAN MAKLUMAT-MAKLUMAT DALAM DAFTAR PEMILIH. 

Yay..sudah keluar!

Bacalah tips-tips  kecantikan oleh saya dilaman www.everydayme.com.my. Terima kasih P&G kerana mempercayai saya!

Gambar oleh Joe Lebosi

Off key singers

Cause with unconditional love, everyone can be a singer.

Spread the love. It's not always about money you know...

Daphne Iking urges you to VOTE!

Daphne and Fabio encourages ALL eligible voters to exercise their rights to vote. No point you grumbling and moaning about everything not right about our country, but you aren't doing your part in making sure your voice counts.

Please. Go and vote this 5th May.

Let's Spin and Store with Isobel

"I find the Spin N' Store Food Storage System really handy! Not only does it save me space (no more messy drawers or dangerous food containers falling out from my kitchen cabinet), but it also saves me time when looking for the matching lid for a particular food container. With 24 containers + 24 lids in 3 different sizes, this microwavable, dishwasher-safe and freezer-friendly food storage system is great for maintaining freshness in leftovers, etc. Let's Spin and Store!"

Logon on to http://bit.ly/161NcOA to grab the best deal at 52% OFF!

How to eliminate germs from our phones

"Did you know that the average cell phone carries more germs per square inch than doorknobs, the soles of shoes and even toilet seats? Pretty gross, right? I would normally just 'wipe down' my phone with a clean tissue. However, I've noticed more spots on my right cheek and jawbone area, that my facial therapist suspects is due to me using my phone a lot on that side (she has other patients who suffer the same thing, and all of them use the phone on the right). Not one to believe this is true, I'm glad I have this UV sterilizer device. It helps eliminate 99% of bacteria. It's so easy to use and I also get to sterilize other small electronic devices like my earphones, MP3 player and bluetooth headset."

Logon to http://bit.ly/YggVye to grab this deal at 44% OFF!

Every couple needs time out.

Different Spin 12th April, 2013

Metro, The Star

by Daphne Iking

I am sipping a sinful cup of ciccolata calda at some random sidewalk in Rome, breathing in the cool spring breeze and enjoying the deep sounds of Church bells ringing from afar. My husband fiddles with his huge camera that he carries around in his equipment bag. Sometimes I wish he was more of a "point-and-shoot-with-small-camera" sort of guy. Instead, photography is his hobby and along with this huge sling bag, is a tripod. I get tired just seeing him lug all his toys from one subway to another, but I've learnt, that in marriage, just like any good relationship, sometimes, it's best not to say anything and just let things "be".

This is our first real honeymoon together, 3 years after tying the knot in a simple akad nikah. Our first 'two honeymoons' were spent with friends and the next, with our kids. Not exactly the truest definition of a honeymoon. Having said that, my boss pointed out that this was not a honeymoon either because we've been married for 'so long' (at least in my definition).

A honeymoon is a traditional holiday taken by newlyweds to celebrate their marriage in intimacy and seclusion. The Merriam-Webster dictionary reports the etymology as from "the idea that the first month of marriage is the sweetest", hence many refering to the word "honeymoon" as a temporary relax, sweet phase. For example, I remember a time after SRP/PMR, my headmistress Mrs Matthews, kept reminding us to not treat Form 4 as a 'honeymoon' year, but a preparation to the big exam- SPM.

SPM. That seems so long ago.

Now, here I am finally doing my Europe roadtrip with my husband. Our honeymoon challenge: 7 countries, 10 cities - all within 17 days.

"Quite a feat and definitely not a honeymoon," says our goodfriend Endie.

"Aren't honeymoons supposed to be relaxing? Where all you do is you-know-what," he cheekily adds.

I guess that's what honeymoons were originally created for. Back in the days when most marriages were either arranged or courting each other was always with a chaperone; the honeymoon right after the matrimonial ceremony, was to enable the newlyweds to be intimately acquainted without prying eyes.

In this era, most couples see each other everyday or some even choose to live-in together before taking the leap of marriage. Are honeymoons then neccessary with this new arrangement?

I guess it all boils down to tradition and a nice excuse to get away from the hussle and bussle, especially as more and more couples start planning their wedding at least a year ahead in schedule. So, by the time the happy couple say "I do", they are running on empty and a break away from a year of planning, would probably do them good.

It is interesting to note that back then, more women were homemakers. Now, the number of dual-income families, where both husband and wife work, have increased. When a contemporary couple ties the knots, chances are both partners are employed, so this means the honeymoon is the first long vacation they will have taken together.

"But you see each other every single time since both of you work together!" exclaims Endie.

 True. But there's pros and cons to that. The latter would be that we talk about work everywhere we go.

My husband needed his wife. Not the mother to his children. Or his business partner.

"I miss my wife."

In one of our rare quiet dinners together (that was not work related), he asked me,

"If you had to place more importance on the relationship between your kids or your spouse, which would it be?"

Trick question. Having the cancerian trait in me, I refused to take sides.

He answered,"You must take care of your spouse, because your children will always be your children. They are your flesh and blood. The bond will always be there. But you can 'lose' your spouse by the snap of your fingers if you fail to nurture the relationship, to sustain it."

His answer hit me like a brickwall.

In short, the honeymoon is nothing more than an excuse for two people to enjoy some time off without the complications and distractions of the real world creeping in. Our version of a honeymoon may not be as sweet or romantic as how some people may think it should be, but it was conjured and thought about sincerely, together - from our hearts. And that's how a marriage should be. It's not just about the love and passion, but about compromise and honesty.

I'm done with my delicious drink. I think I'll be his tripod holder for this trip. One more week till I see the kids, Oh how I miss them! But for now, this child needs me more.

Follow her microblog and holiday pictures via her Instagram: daphneiking. She's added #yogaposesaroundeurope as part of her challenge. Her husband thinks she's a bit of a nut. But he tolerates her eccentricities.

Different Spin 15th March 2013

*This is my first draft for my Different Spin column. Uncensored. 

For Different Spin, Metro section, THE STAR 15th March 2013

I am reading reports that life is slowly returning back to normal in the small coastal town of Lahad Datu, after the horrible intrusion of the Sulu terrorists that started about a month back. Just a few days ago, I was ‘requested’ to help make #SabahBounceBack a trending topic on twitter. Admittedly, I held back celebratory attempts on social media.

When the invaders arrived early February, I felt a bit puzzled on the contrasting reports I was receiving. Being a Sabahan who has lived in Semenanjung Malaysia for over 15 years now, I get news about my hometown from my parents and siblings over our ‘Iking-Phone-Groupchat’, and bits of articles written in our dailies. So when dad and the boys raised their concerns on the safety of Sabah (we have relatives in Lahad Datu), I was naturally afraid but confused at the same time because initially, our leaders seemed pretty lackadaisical with the whole situation making us believe that there was nothing to worry about. I assume they did that to prevent unnecessary panic amongst us?

Whatever it was, I remember receiving chilling updates from my father and over twitter during my rehearsals the night before hosting a LIVE Awards show. Stuck in a 5-star hotel choreographing our steps for the big night, my mind was elsewhere.

Our news reporter assigned to host the ‘behind-the-scenes’ of the Bella Awards show, confirmed that two police commandos had been killed. I thought there was not going to be any bloodshed? I remember the ballroom going quiet but (as unfeeling) as the saying goes, the show must go on.

On the night of the Bella Awards, 2^nd of March - I was not my usual, cheerful self. It did not help that there was a bit of nerves prior to hosting the inaugural Women’s Award show LIVE on television and the station was fighting for ratings from a TV competitor who was airing another LIVE Awards show across town too.

The worried concerns of my folks and relatives were about the stories of these Sulu intruders who were rumoured to have invaded different parts of Sabah, ready to start chaos and disturbance  upon cue, if their Sulu Sultanate’s demands were not met. Cybertroopers either denied or affirmed these allegations. I just wanted to know the truth. Don’t we all? My family and relatives all live there, and I was worried.

During the LIVE show, my co-hosts and I suddenly received curt instructions from our Studio Director through our earpiece, asking us,  to tell the glitzy guests in the ballroom (who seemed a bit fidgety with the long wait), that the extended 6-minute commercial break was to give way to the news department for some breaking news. In the meantime, the producers wanted us to keep the audience in the room entertained.

“Crack a joke or two Daph…do your running man. Just entertain them.”

It was hard for me to conceal the anguish I felt. I stood there in a beautiful gown, surrounded by all things sparkly, on standby to continue going LIVE on national television and was putting on the most sincere smile I could muster. My Floor Manager was gesturing me to make my smile bigger. For the first time in my broadcasting life, it was very hard for me to separate my personal and worklife. I was not in the mood to joke and to put on a happy face. I kept thinking about my parents and their safety.

No one could tell me what the breaking news was at that point and being a journalist myself, it was frustrating  to say the least.

Once the show was over, I skipped the after-party and headed straight to the hotel Coffeehouse. I called my parents straightaway. The news update interruption was regarding the killing of six more police personnel and the burial of the slain cops.

My heart thumped harder.

I guess the Government’s initial ‘appeasement policy’ towards these foreign intruders and downplaying the threat from the invaders, was not making the progress they thought it should be - so finally, our Malaysian security forces took action. Judging from my twitter feed, I knew some thought their response was too slow. Others had their own conspiracy theories saying the appeasement was part of a ‘master game plan’ to make the Sulu invaders look unreasonable, hence making their eradication easier in later plans.

Whatever the plan or theory was, I sit praying that things ARE getting better over in the East side and that there will be peace restored. And let us citizens not take for granted the serenity we are accustomed to on most days and instead, help sustain it. Together.

Daphne Iking is a TV anchor & Journalist and a proud Sabahan. She has many Suluk and Philipino friends and believes there are just two types of people in the world – good or bad. It has nothing to do with race, creed and religion.

Pumpkin and Patch Playing at the Park

I've just completed 6 articles for a brand new site coming soon, in which 3 topics assigned to me, concentrates on the kids. When it comes to writing about the family and my girls , I don't have much problems - probably because I am blessed with a job that enables me to be with them more frequently than most working mothers out there.

Alhamdulillah.

Eskilito and Chancho. Our Pumpkin and Patch. What would I do without the both of you?

Brave and Sweet

 I've said many times before but my first born is truly my little rock. I recently posted on Instagram telling the world to go fly a kite. You will never know my story and like I said, if the same thing happened to you, you will understand why I have kept quiet all these years. 

Let bygones  be bygones and let's focus on the now shall we?

Isobel has such an independent old soul in her. And is able to make strangers feel better by just talking to them. 

Our very own Patch Adams.

x

Our little Chancho. She's growing way too fast for us

Iman Daniella. Now this is one tough cookie. My lil' gangsta. She has the fiery spirit of her father and his wisdom too. A bully at times, but with the most heart warming smile and softest way of saying "mama" and "papa". 

(especially when she wants food)

Our grouch of a Pumpkin. 

Definitely. 

And Wheeeee! Faster mama...faster!

Thank you God for blessing us with our children. Forever they will be, even if at times we may have our indifferences.

InsyaAllah...

Thank you Pumpkin Patch Malaysia for providing us with the wardrobe for the photoshoot.
Pumpkin Patch Malaysia now has their own facebook page. Click here to get interesting updates :

Pumpkin Patch Malaysia FB:www.facebook.com/pumpkinpatchMY?group_id=0