thinking of home

I moved to KL after I was done with my degree. I was working at a production house while doing my Master degree in USM. While I was in the midst of completing my thesis, I was offered a job as a broadcast journalist at TV3. And have been with Media Prima (first as a permanant staff, then as a freelancer) since 2003. Working in this line has given me opportunities to travel, work with different situations, people and has been a rollercoaster ride of events and situations. So although I love what I do, I do miss the quiet serenity of my hometown. The simplicity of life. The laidback folks and of course, my family.

Living in fast paced KL has its ups and downs. I guess the lesson learnt here is that not everything is as jovial or as bright as the city lights. The city lights can burn out or get too hot. I have learnt that everyone is your friend when things are great and smooth sailing; but when something hits you or bites you in the ass; true friendship is tested. I have learnt that some people are not so kind, only cause they are building their defense wall to survive in this ugly dog eat dog world. I think the thing I have learnt best is not to take everything so seriously. To keep your group of trusted friends intimately small and tight. To watch your back but to not be a cynic. To be kind with words and actions. And never be judgemental.

Juggling roles requires planning for me. I know. This sucks. But I am blessed to have a Manager/PA who helps me manage my schedule and negotiations. I try to keep the weekends free for family and ME time. I spend time doing stuff I like ; ie: volunteering for charity events, writing, spring cleaning, wakeboarding, go karting. Anything that requires a challenge, I am game.

In interviews, I am often asked for beauty tips. I tell them I don't have any of my own. All I owe to reading, observing, learning and receiving advice; some soughted, most given.

I have started to appreciate myself the way I am. I am comfortable with my flabby stomach, my short legs, my scar on the left side of my face. and the funny birthmark in between my thighs. I don't pile on concealer or foundation to flaws and pock marks. I don't blow dry my hair to perfection. I still take pride in my appearance and grooming; so dont get me wrong. But I have learnt to love the freckles on my cheeks, the scars on my body and even my unruly hair. THIS acknowledgment makes me feel better about myself. Acceptance. I am going back to Church again, which makes me feel good inside and doing what I can to help others and the environment, cause in the most ironic way, its my selfish way of making me feel nice and yummy inside. When the soul is happy, it will shine and show from outside. I eat right, take the right supplements, and drink lots of water. Ample exercise, fresh air and just loving everything even when things are down.

There is always a blessing in everything we do or face.

I suddenly have the urge to go home. Where it's safe. And daddy will make sure those monsters leave me alone. I'll feed mummy's chickens and bathe her dogs.

I wanna go home.