Sunday, July 27, 2008

My bestfriend's wedding

Article submitted for Malaysia Today

The ‘final wedding’ is over. Slightly intoxicated with champers and high on emotions, I leave the dance floor to take a quick breather at the reception counter. I trace the Polaroid picture of the newly married couple I had took earlier on in the evening and sigh. I am not sure if it was the aftermath of too much self-made podium moves (with the restaurants chairs and the speakers as our dance podiums), or too much bubbly, or possibly both, but tears welled up and emotions suddenly ran high.

I was honored when I was made one her bridesmaid for the weeks of festivities, celebrating what would be, one of the happiest moments in her life. Sheah Nee was to marry a very, very good friend of mine, Naz– who is not just my colleague, but my best boyfriend.

I met Naz almost 10 years ago, before either one of us was in the entertainment line, at some watering hole in Kuala Lumpur. I was introduced to him by a friend of a friend and expecting some charming lines from such a charming face, I was clearly upset when he said to me instead, “are those your mother’s curtains,” as he points to the designs of my peddle-pushers I had just purchased the day before. I gave him a cold stare as he starts ‘hi-fiving’ his guy pals around the table.

Fast forward a few years later, we bumped into each other at TV3. I guess tact is not his cup of tea as he said to me, “hey, if you don’t wear your curtains, you look quite decent!” I continued to snub this arrogant ‘Disney host joker’ and went on with my life. One day, I received horrible news. I was to host a financial program with you-guessed-who, so you can imagine my distaste and discomfort knowing that my first break on telly was to be with this moron I couldn’t stand and only tolerated because he was a friend of my friends!

But being your true professional journalist, I swallowed my distaste and fought hard not to punch him on the face. My producer told us to go out “minum teh”, learn about one another and to build the chemistry for the show. I wanted to kill my producer but when he suggested that, Naz took my hand and said, “jom! I know a GREAT place where curtains are allowed in!” My producer smiles smugly and I am forced to learn more about this ‘mangkuk’ of the lad at a surprisingly nice mamak store nearby. The rest, as they say, is history.

Holding the Polaroid picture of these two lovebirds, I can’t believe my best guy friend is married. A tear rolls down and I wipe my runny snot away when mother of the bride walks over. “Hey Daphne…are you alright?” I quickly make myself look busy clearing up the reception counter. “I’m okay aunty…just a bit...err…tipsy?”

Rereading this article, one would think of me as the Julia Roberts in “My Best friend’s Wedding”, right? Wrong. I was always gung-ho with their relationship. I approved of her the day he (finally) introduces us over Japanese. Who couldn’t like her? She is not just drop dead beautiful, she is super intelligent and has a heart of gold. It was with little wonder that Sheah Nee and I became fast friends and confidantes. And when he confided in me, thousands of feet high above sea level on our way to Melbourne for our travel show, (yes, after our first programme together, Ringgit Sense, we have been paired together for other numerous TV stints together) that Sheah Nee was the woman he wanted to marry, I cried out loud and hugged him tight. He told me to keep it quiet. I gave non-discreet hints along the way. And now, as we celebrate the fourth and LAST wedding celebration for the week, reality has hit me, knowing that I will no longer be the first woman he runs to when he has good and bad news to share. And this jolts me in feelings I can’t truly comprehend.

Aunty Lesley gives me a kind smile, as if she knew what was going on in my mind and squeezes me gently on the shoulder.”Go and party girl!” I nod and adjust my tube dress in place. I see a white thread hanging loose and as I maneuver my body awkwardly to bite the string off, that mangkuk of the groom appears out of nowhere. “So here you are! What on earth are you doing curtain lady?”

He sees the tears in my eyes and smiles knowingly.

He burns the string off. “You will always be the curtain in my life. And see? I will never forget your birthday or my wedding anniversary—EVER!”

We hug and I tell him to look after the bride I have learnt to love and appreciate as much as my friendship with him.

There is a paradigm shift in my friendship with Naz, but I know it will be a level of happiness that will only elevate, as years go by. I see him dance with his bride, my new best friend, and my heart melts knowing that he is in good hands.

**Dedicated to Sheah Nee and Naz. If the both of you had told me earlier I was to give a speech , this would be the gist of it. Not that ‘birdie’, orgasmic impromptu speech I embarrassingly gave 2 weeks ago. Congratulations guys!**


  1. That's so beautiful and touched my heart Daphne!
    My bestfriends will marry end of this year ~ I don't know how will I feel~

  2. hi Daphne,

    hey...i want to congrat Naz too. does he have a blog site too?

  3. i love how you are always open with your words and your feelings.

    I've linked you to my blog. you're a keeper.

  4. wow u look really gorgeous! met u at the ok! party and really like u :)

  5. thats truly a beautiful entry you got there. i can understand how you feel where you felt a certain part of you has gone missing. although how much people reassured you that nothing will change, but in fact things had already change. but, we just have to live with it and go through life with the change and all, right?

    I've seen many of my friends pairing off and indirectly left me by myself. though they say "we are still friends no matter what", but the time we spend together and the things we used to share has turn into something else already. nevertheless, i just have to adjust my life according to how change comes.

    i wish naz and sheah nee best of luck in their marriage and i too believe that you'll always be naz's curtain. Cheer up, daphne! =D

  6. dear daphne,

    This is a very beautiful, well-written piece to describe the wedding... I cud feel as if I were there..

    to sheah nee & naz : Congratulations! <3

  7. Semoga durg hepi-hepi selalu kan Daphne? :)

  8. bah jan la ko sedih2 lagi daphne, everything happen for a reason..

  9. Hi Daphne. I'm one of your fans, and Naz. LOL... I guess that sort of feelings always comes to us when our best guy friend gets married.

  10. when i heard abt and saw pictures of the wedding, i say to myself they look cute and just perfect together!

    love them...too!

    love abang naz since disney show and sheah nee just impressed me so much whenever she's on the news...

    thanks for sharing :)

  11. this is so sweet. my best friend in the whole wide world is getting married soon and *if* i was requested to give a speech, this would be a total inspiration...but usually the speeches are always left out in kadazan weddings haha cos they trus will go aramaiti and moginum.

    **i have this routine to watch TBC for a few minutes before i leave for work. always loved the show! you go daphne :)

  12. Hi Daphne,

    Sweet and Sincere!

    I want to read your article in Malaysia Today but I didn't know how to find it...which section ya? Please help:-)

  13. I think at that point of time it was a turning point in our career and our personal life. It was the first program I produced; the first program you hosted and it was Naz's first break away from Disney. We are what we are now because of what we learned then. Now all three of us also kahwin already. Apa macam, feels old right? Like only yesterday going out for first assignment.

    Do you remember that episode when we when to Tanjung Jara Resort? That was fun. Someone sure got lucky there. I think I still have that tape I shot around somewhere in my collection.

    Actually, my favourite episode was with the host who replaced you. We were at a spa and there was this bathtub with rose petals floating on it. She asked me if I wanted her to get in it. The room was really small and there was only enough space for her and me to shoot it. A million and one thoughts raced through my head in a split second. Luckily I said its okay, no need. Looking back, I wonder what would have happened if I had said yes. Me so evil hehehe.

  14. thats really sweet. =)
    i had the same feelings as u when my bestest bf got together with one of my closes gfs.

    sheahnee and naz are so cute in that pic! =)

  15. i always love reading ur writings..this has become my recent fav..:)

  16. Naz probably would have felt the same when YOU got married :) Things change.. life evolves.. we grow .. but the bond we have with our BBF (best friend forever) will always be there (provided our other halves do not feel insecure)..

    my 2 sens worth..