Sunday, December 9, 2007

Poop-Eat-Sleep Princess



Its been two weeks since my last post. Two weeks since my life changed from being a pregnant wife, to a deflated balloon tummy- mummy. Yes. DB Tummy -Mummy. Not Yummy AT ALL.
The scar has healed but it is there, prominently reminding me of my first encounter in an Operation Theatre Room. Its not the scar that bothers me. I 'adorn' it with pride. Its the Deflated looking balloon Tummy that makes me feel a tad bit sad. Ok. That is an understatement. I HATE it. With all my heart. My once tight abdomen is now saggy and crinkly. My once hip belly ring holes are now staring at me in sorrow.
Every now and then, I will flash my tummy to Ryan and ask him "has my tummy shrunk?"

Ryan has mastered the art of lying.

Somehow, I'm relieved.

"wow! its shrinking so fast!"

Ironic how we ask our spouses to be true, 'till death do we part'- but we silently plead for words of comfort when there is a need.I guess, that is when love steps in.

Just hours after Isobel's birth



Ryan and I have decided to register her as Isobel Daniella Iking-Chong and not the other way round as we initially planned. Because we have been calling her Isobel since the day we found out her gender and decided on her name, it only made sense to place Isobel as the first name. My dad said it is also 'in honour' of my granpa Isidore Iking.

I'm not quite sure how to describe my feelings for her. I know I love her. I cried when I first heard her wail. I cried when I knew she had jaundice. I cried when I was told she couldn't 'room in' with me cause she had to be put under the UV light for her phototherapy. I cried when the doctor told me her jaundice level had gone up. I cried when we brought her home and had a portable phototherapy unit set up in our room. I cried when I was in too much pain to breastfeed her. I cried when they told me her jaundice level went down. I cried when she cried. I cried when she didn't.
Basically, I've just been crying a lot.

Some say I am hit by the postpartum blues.
I say its the torture of being confined in a house that is not home.
(I miss my mummy)
First, its the food.
Second, its the 1011 do's & dont's.
Third, its the thought of not knowing how my life will change now that I have this Poop-Eat-Sleep baby around.

It is called a paradigm shift.

A shift I am not sure I will like.

Don't get me wrong. I love her. I just can't convince myself, at this point of time, how her presence will work out in our schedule.

They say it will come naturally. The whole motherhood and adapting to its foreign lingo.
I guess I am just uncomfortable with the thought of my comfort zone being stretched, squished and squashed.
Again, another understatement.

I friggin hate the fact that I've got to amend some things I've grown accustomed to. My freedom, my passion for travel, my career...

Selfish you say?

No. Just wasn't ready to begin with.



On the third day...



Despite it all, she is the new
Love Of My Life.





4th day

In fact, she is the only Love in my Life right now.

with 'Odu' (maternal grandma)


Barely a week old


Isobel Daniella,

One day you will be bright enough to read this.
But by then, you will know that it is indeed the postpartum blues that has hit mommy.
By then, mommy would have learned how to successfully ski/surf/blade that paradigm shift she's been complaining about in this post.
By then, mommy will have the answers to her weird dreams.
By then - she will know what to do and will act upon it.

God willing.

15 comments:

  1. Dear Daphne,

    Congratulations to you and your hubby. I see a healthy beautiful bundle of joy there.

    My name is June and I have been following your blog for the last few months. I have a boy. Delivered during this year's CNY. His name is Cayden. You write so well I literally feel for you. I felt the same when I first gave birth to my son. The fact that I am a solo mom never stop me from enjoying motherhood. I have the best time of my life. With so many supportive and beautiful people around you, I am sure in no time you will get to feel 'great' again very soon.

    Take care of yourself during this confinement period and happy motherhood.

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  2. congrats Daphne!

    I know she came suddenly but you chose to have her and you have always said it's what you wanted..

    You just have to deal with all of it.

    Don't complain. there are many others who would do ANYTHING to have a child. yours came so easily.

    Take care.

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  3. Isobel's so fragile and CUTEEE!!!


    Cant be any happier that she's out and so going to rock the world and become a super hot chick just like her mommy.

    Hang in there and GOD BLESS all of U!!!


    ( anyways, im just a reader , Malaysian who is in States now...pursuing my studies .have been reading this blog for some time. )

    Love , mare <3

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  4. oooo... Daphne, she's adorable. She is a little angel being sent to you from heaven above.
    Take care babe!!

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  5. Eeeks !

    my juice dribbled out of my mouth when i saw Isobel's photos * oops *.

    eeee she looks almost identical to my milk maggot. maybe babies look all the same oh ?

    like you, i delivered her via C-sec 2 1/2 months ago. since then everyday is like being pushed into the rollercoaster which only stops for a while whenever i manage to catch a nap ( even while feeding her. oops, sorry baby i don't mean to feed your nose ! )

    it's amazing it's siao. they say enjoy while you can. i don't know. it's only fun when she poos. Heh. motherhood rocks !

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  6. I love reading your blog.

    I guess you only start to appreciate when Isobel grows old enough to go for a mother-daughter bonding shopping spree in Milan eh?

    You will find out soon.

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  7. Hey,

    Very much like the workplace, when someone new comes in, things change around too! But it'd be for the best ^^ Worry not. Congratz on being a mummy to a very beautiful baby.

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  8. Baby Isobel is so cute, congratulations....

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  9. hey congrats on having a baby girl. She's so adorable!!!!! Anyways...love reading ur blog.
    TC!

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  10. Hi Daphne,

    I just gave birth to a baby girl too.. So, I'm in confinement as well.. for 45 days!! Yes, my mother insists. Thank God today is my last day!

    But still, it doesn't matter whether it's my last day of confinement, I'm actually sitting in front of my PC looking ridiculous in a sweater, tshirt, pajama bottoms, and wool socks! Can anyone say HOT? HMPH! Hotter than Santa in his suit, stuck in the Sahara!

    And another thing that bugs me, is whole thing about giving birth.. The hype of "the pain of giving birth" is over the top, but no one ever said that breastfeeding was damn painful!

    However, this is my second child, so I was slightly a bit more prepared. Didn't hurt any less, though.

    The confinement however, is just something new mommies have to bear with. Hang in there.. it'll get better..

    Isobel is a beautiful and bouncy baby.. You're incredibly lucky.. Even if you might not feel so lucky right now. Blame it on the hormones..

    Hope you feel better soon. :D

    Love,
    Shemah

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  11. Don't worry, tht blues feeing is only temporary...it will go away especially when you see your beautiful baby starts to smile :) Motherhood is really something...Enjoy it while your baby is still a little one ;p

    Joyce

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  12. Congratulations on having such a gorgeous baby! You have a lot of hormonal shit going on right now and nothing may make any sense. It'll get better, I promise. I've been there.....it does get better.

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  13. Dear daphne...

    what a cutie ..... cant wait to see her growing up... :-)

    congrats again. Enjoy these moment as babies grow up faster than u can imagine....

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  14. She's incredibly cute! Can't wait to have one of my own. ;)

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