Thursday, October 4, 2007

Sex anyone?

The first time I went for my prenatal check up, my doctor told both my husband and I that sex is allowed.

"No need to worry" she says with a grin.


With a bun already in the oven, you'd think my profane temperament would be accustomed to this "type of talk" right?


I squirmed while my normally quiet husband giggled like a 6 year old boy seeing a porno magazine for the first time.

"No la doc... later the baby injured?"

"What rubbish! After the first trimester, its okay for you both to have sex. Just becareful. You might have to change the conventional way of love-making when the tummy starts getting in the way, but having sex right till the 8 month would actually do your cervix area good!"

That was about 5 months ago.

I am now almost 31 weeks preggers. Of late, I have been having these uncomfortable tummy aches - not related to my constipation problems (which have decreased lately..Yay!). I am not sure if the tummy pains are 'normal' or if I've been walking around too much; so I decided to call mum (who's a nursing tutor) to get her 2 cents worth.

"kau ada...kau tau.."
(did know...)


"bah..kau tau...kau ada ..???"
( know..have you..?)

"groan..MUM! I feel like a whale! NO!! I have had no sex since she was conceived!"

She then went on about how sex IS safe during pregnancy. Another girlfriend of mine told me to "go mad" while I "still can" cause once the baby is born, sex will NEVER be the same again. I just can't imagine Isobel seeing a man's willy humping mummy. Even if its daddy's willy - the same willy that was responsible in bringing her to this world. So, I decided to google this topic, and these are some of the most frequently asked questions about sex during pregnancy.

Can sex harm my baby?

No, not directly. Your baby is fully protected by the amniotic sac (a thin-walled bag that holds the fetus and surrounding fluid) and the strong muscles of the uterus. There's also a thick mucus plug that seals the cervix and helps guard against infection. The penis does not come into contact with the fetus during sex.

Can intercourse or orgasm cause miscarriage or contractions?

In cases of normal, low-risk pregnancies, the answer is no. The contractions that you may feel during and just after orgasm are entirely different from the contractions associated with labor. However, you should check with your health care provider to make sure that your pregnancy falls into the low-risk category. Some doctors recommend that all women stop having sex during the final weeks of pregnancy, just as a safety precaution, because semen contains a chemical that may actually stimulate contractions. Check with your health care provider to see what he or she thinks is best.

Is it normal for my sex drive to increase or decrease during pregnancy?

Actually, both of these possibilities are normal (and so is everything in between). Many pregnant women find that symptoms such as fatigue, nausea, breast tenderness, and the increased need to urinate make sex too bothersome, especially during the first trimester. Generally, fatigue and nausea subside during the second trimester, and some women find that their desire for sex increases. Also, some women find that freedom from worries about contraception, combined with a renewed sense of closeness with their partner, makes sex more fulfilling. Desire generally subsides again during the third trimester as the uterus grows even larger and the reality of what's about to happen sets in.

Your partner's desire for sex is likely to increase or decrease as well. Some men feel even closer to their pregnant partner and enjoy the changes in their bodies. Others may experience decreased desire because of anxiety about the burdens of parenthood, or because of concerns about the health of both the mother and their unborn child.

Your partner may have trouble reconciling your identity as a sexual partner with your new (and increasingly visible) identity as an expectant mother. Again, remember that communication with your partner can be a great help in dealing with these issues.

Source from:

Nah. I shall wait.


  1. wait lorr....wait....wait...hmmm...if no placenta previa..go ahead lorr..

  2. hi, stumble upon your blog recently. you are from USM right? was your junior..anyway, congrats on your baby, i think kan, your pregnancy actually enchance your sense of humor...cheers! when are you expecting?

  3. I had this Dr. Harlina Siraj, a OBGYN from UKM Hospital on the show once talking about sex during pregnancy.

    She's this rolly polly lady in a tudung and she was so casually encouraging the viewers to have sex during their last trimester. After the show, she told me she did it too as it helps in natural childbirth.

    In the control panel, we were all laughing our heads of during the discussion. All this makcik-makcik were calling in wanting advice from her.

    Anyway, orgasm releases oxytocin. A hormone that stimulates childbirth. However, the other effect of oxytocin is that it gives you an euphoria type of feeling and makes you trust/love people. Good for marital relationship. I've been reading about it lately.

  4. very interesting post. best to know about it, aye? hehe...

  5. oh tidak... too much information for me. *giggles*

  6. first time wen i heard abt having sex during my pregnancy, i thought its very risky..but reading all the facts and reality check, i think i would give it a go..i mean, it does gives some added benefit right??

  7. Pon,

    I think, the pain that you feel on your tummy could be Braxton Hicks, prepares your womb for delivery :-)

    I have that too.

    Btw, the sex can wait...ndak lama lagi bah. Sabar ko...


  8. Daphne, as people always tell me.." after 1st trimester, boleh la have sex"..but..with my big tummy..aduihh..
    31 weeks dah?Take care ok..

  9. if she don't mind, he will not mind also.

  10. hahahahaha.... i can so hear Kamaljit's voice now.. hahahah, i also kena rubish from her!

  11. hahahahaha.... i can so hear Kamaljit's voice now.. hahahah, i also kena rubish from her!

  12. Dapne, no worry n no harm.
    yang penting enjoy.

    believe me, it's fun. something different.

    nnti lama lg kena pantang tauu.

    take caree!

  13. Sex? Nah.. I just gave birth recently and trust me, all those time while carrying baby inside you, you would not have any desire to want to have sex... maybe cuddles and all but then again, sex can wait... =)


  15. Pon,

    If you dont feel comfortable.. your baby will detect how you feel. If you want to have sex.. then as long as you have a willing partner, you should have sex.

    At least your partner sounds like he is willing. My hubby did not even want to hug me for fear I would get turned on. Hahaha so I did not get "no satisfaction". I still blame him for me having to have a C-sect. I think having sex helps in getting a natural birth. Personal experience taught me no sex means no contraction meaning overdue baby, resulting in baby being big and then cervix unresponsive resulting in no SVD.

    Well that is just a personal conclusion. Anyhoo enjoy the process dear. Very important few weeks now. If any fear comes.. follow your gut instincts. Women are natural at being mothers. :)

    Rachel M

  16. A baby just born,look at the dr that delivered him and asked "Are you my father?"...The Dr surprised said "no!".The nurse called the father and he duly carried his newborn son.The baby asked him "Are you my father?".The father,swept by emotions,started crying and "Yes,my son".The baby then raised his fist and poked his index finger on the father's forehead repeatedly...."Irritating isn't it?"

  17. haa..thats was a great info. :D

  18. LOL ..i know la not laughing matter...but haha fani ba cara kau tulis

  19. No sex? All my preggie friends are totally horny devils...

  20. Err Daphne, am learning a few stuffs from u gal n am not even married or preggy hehhehe

  21. hehehhe...1st time mum... prob...hahhah...

    anyway, ur tummy is so smooth...I mean...mine looks like melon with striae all over...n the striae lasted... huhuhuuh....

  22. Maybe you are interested in this site.

    safe sex during pregnancy

    I wish you´ll like it and it´ll be useful for you. Regards.