Picture taken from thestaronlineI am deeply angered & saddened by the headlines today.
Just a few days ago, I mentioned off-air on The Breakfast Show that the 'unidentified body found at PJS1/48, Petaling Utama' could be Nurin- as "both" pictures were very pretty girls.
Today, it is reported in The Star that the parents have accepted the brutally murdered and sexually abused body, as their daughter, after DNA results confirmed it.
Yesterday, I had lunch with some friends and the media. When I answered their questions on whether I know the sex of my baby - Peter said to me, "a daughter is always more troublesome"
I was slightly annoyed and he was quick to notice my reaction.
(Although we have gone past the era where Chinese baby girls were thrown into rivers; there are some families, especially traditional chinese ones, who secretly yearn for sons than daughters)
"No..what I meant is, with the crime rate going up in Malaysia, especially rape cases, I'm always afraid for my daughters"
And yes. Peter is right.
I fear for Isobel's safety. This peanut has not made her debut yet, and already I am suggesting her father to 'bullet proof' our car, and to install some canggih manggih alarm system for our new apartment.
On the breakfast show, we had a debate concerning this matter.
"teach your child to walk away from strangers, don't talk to them"
and/versus
"national unity...where do we draw the line"
Naturally, I brought this debate home and discussed it with Michelle-Ann.
"Eii..susah kan. Remember when we were young. We even played with the gypsies!"
"Yea..and palis-palis oh... we even let Dam-Dam (my youngest brother) go to the market alone at that age...luckily, nothing happened to him"
"Yes, but he's a boy"
"I know..but there are some sick bastards out there. Perverted sick assholes who deserves a durian up there friggin' asses..."
I don't want to teach Isobel to be a snooty princess, and naturally, I worry for her safety.
I want her to have what my siblings and I had - the freedom to mingle and mix freely without her parents constantly breathing down her neck.
I know its going to be a good balance of both... and to make sure we know who are neighbours are...but with the pyschological fear of wondering "is that friendly neighbour REALLY a good neighbour?"
When and how do we eradicate the fear, the doubts and the intentions of people we first meet?
On that note, I helped a 'stranger' organize a little party for her and her peanut. Despite the little hurdles along the way, I am still positive.
I hate doubts. I hate uncertainties. But that is life.
it certainly is a pity that we have to live in fear sekarang ni. aihh...it's probably the first time i cried while watching the news. let's all pray that justice will be upheld.
ReplyDeleteIn the case of Nurin, she was the victim of her family's social-economic standing. Small apartment, so her parents let her wonder outside because of lack of space.
ReplyDeletei believe it's more of...too many ppl out there watch pornand cannot tahan when see girls, so the easiest victim are owes the younger girls...btw..u oredi plan whether u want to use disposable or cloth diaper for Isobel?..save the environment la ok...i use cloth diaper eversince i got addicted..www.babytotsandmom.com...ini in kk nie...hihihi
ReplyDeletehi sis daphne.. i read ur blog from time to time.
ReplyDeletelove ur pregnancy's stories..keep sharing yerr.. :D
cant wait to see Isobel.. take care ..
:D
btw, may Nurin rest in peace..
i would like to contradict what luxen said. It's not anybody's fault but the pervert. It's not because of their social standing, make them less care about their child. The similar case happened 3 years ago, somewhere up North, a little girl was brutally murdered and yet there is no drastic measure to make Malaysia a better place for us and our kids. It becomes worst still...
ReplyDeletehi daph. saw u yesterday on the celebrity cook show or sthing like that...:)
ReplyDeletebtw, ur bahasa sounded perfect.
p/s: had shivers down my spine when i read the headlines about nurin. don't know what will happen in the next 5-10 years. maybe we need to castrate all men for our own safety. new borns all will come fr test tubes. what d ya think :)
hi daph. saw u yesterday on the celebrity cook show or sthing like that...:)
ReplyDeletebtw, ur bahasa sounded perfect.
p/s: had shivers down my spine when i read the headlines about nurin. don't know what will happen in the next 5-10 years. maybe we need to castrate all men for our own safety. new borns all will come fr test tubes. what d ya think :)
em....pray to God that this will not happen to other girl.. u have 2 jaga ur kandungan oso..i dont have child yet, but i do know few things la..do u know dat pregnant woman can't eat durian too much?watermelon oso..emm..
ReplyDeleteNurin's case angers me as well...I too feel insecure about the world that we live in today.
ReplyDeleteHaving a daughter (on the way) too makes me shudder to think if I could protect her enough. God forbid, that I too wouldnt want anything bad happen to any of my girlfriends, sisters, nieces, friend's daugthers...
As parents we definitely want the best for our kids, not necessarily to make them feel 'suffocated' with our over-protectiveness, but the crazy world out there leaves us with no choice.
I pray that Nurin's soul will rest in peace and that her murderer be brought to justice soon.
Angeline
Hopefully the family are strong to continue their journey. She's a sweet lil gal indeed... :(
ReplyDeleteImportantly not just safety to the lil ones.. BUT WE gotta be extra careful too!!!
Never walk around and yak on the phone as we are not being in full alert and nobody knows who's watching who...
The world is getting crazier and more desperate each day... *sighs*
Take care and pray tat god bless us all!
xoxo
you can tell your kid to not talk to strangers,to walk away from strangers but what happens when your child is pulled/dragged into a van at a crowded pasar malam ?. people saw arwah Nurin screaming as she was dragged into the white van but did they do anything ? Think we should teach Malaysians to be more aware and responsible for their community.
ReplyDeletehello sis,
ReplyDeletebeen visiting ur blog last month but this is first time commenting.
well this tragedy really make me angry, i even cry reading and wathing about it. I really curse this "alien" I hope he 'll caught soon and will be punished same as he did to lil gal.
It makes me scared as I have lil gal at home.
Anyway... like ur preggy story, take a good care, have good rest, good exercise .
got this thru email..tho might sgare it wit u...
ReplyDeleteFrom one of the reporter
From what we heard from the news, the criminal wiped clean all evidences
from the corpse,
so unlikely can the police find any DNA on it. Semen of course no, as she
wasn't raped, just
molested with brinjals.
My cousin spoke to Nurin's uncle, Jazlan, and below is a bit of the real
story:
------------ --------- ------------ --------- ---- ------------ --------
------------ ----
Spoke to jazlan (the photographer son of jalil kelabu) just a few minutes
ago. He told me all the details. Today the face of the girl started to look
more like nurin. Two days ago the parents could not really recognize and
was in denial. Today at the burial, she started to look very much like
their lost daughter. I had tears in my eyes. Nurin is about ********'s age
and I can't imagine how would I ever survive such a trauma. I admire the
parents for being so strong.
Her private parts (both vagina and anal) were totally destroyed and torn
outside and inside. They left a big fat brinjal inside the vagina deep
inside destroying the intestines etc. she was not fed for over 2 weeks only
water (they did not find any source of food inside her body). She cried so
much the eye lashes froze up with salt type discharge from tears. Her bones
were showing like a famine kid. Her skin was distorted. The killer must
have done so many things to the poor girl.
To shove her inside the gym bag, they broke her backbone and neck to fold
her up to fit inside the bag.
There is no describing what kind of person would do such a thing.
hi daphne,
ReplyDeletei was reading the comment above abt wat really happen frm the post mortem of late Nurin..my gosh! i was so shocked by de amount of internal and external injuries inflicted to this young, helpless girl..if an adult female rape/sexually abused victim can be in trauma after their terrible ordeal, i can never imagine for Nurin's pain before she took her last breath.