Fergie I am not....Sydney Bridge!

Climbed Sydney bridge today and it was one experience I have to (bashfully) say, I did not regret.

A few days back in Brisbane, Naz and I came across a flyer stating that Sergio Mendes was to play at the Sydney Opera House on the 17th November, 8pm. Counted our days and jumped in joy when we found out that we would be down from the Blue Mountains by then--- then we rechecked our itinery and saw the bad news... we had to do the Sydney Bridge Climb and it would take approximately 3 hours - our climb starts at 5pm. Drats and double drats!

Dahlah I have problems with heights AND stairs, now I HAVE to miss Sergio Mendes on its ONE (friggin) NIGHT ONLY performance--- just MINUTES away from where our shoot was to take place!

Shmuck and cow dung!

AND...to make things (friggin) worst, prior to our bridge climb, we had to do a shoot at the Opera house! So you can just imagine our long faces and moronic mood. HOWEVER, being professional and un-divalike, we proceeded with the shoot and me being the sadistic bitch, I just had to add salt to the (already very bernanah) wound:

"Hey Steve... anymore Sergio tickets left for tonight?"

"Yeah (Aussie drawl)..but they're going pretty quick...one night only performance y' know?"

(Teeth gritting..pookeymah)

*Ribs Nazzie*

"Psst...If we climb the bridge faster, I think we can make it lah.."

(pant..pant)

"You think? Don't think so la babe...you ask Morgan"

*Ehem*

"Hey..Morgan (mate)...why does it take so long to climb the bridge?If we get it over and done with in less than 3 hours, can we go for the Sergio Concert?"

"I guess you can...but its the camera angling etc that might take longer"

(pookeymah)

So, we didn't bother buying tickets. We just plodded on. Elaine sensed my grumpiness (although I blamed them on the flu tablets) and promised me pancakes before the climb.

Being a (sadistic) food whore, that made me smile a bit. But it lasted only 10 minutes - her pancake parlour was closed for renovation.

(pookeymah)

Grumpiness settled in with a dosage of drowsiness from Nazzie's flu tablets (and this time it was for real). I decided to have some peppermint tea to calm my qualms of climbing over 100 meters above the Sydney Harbour.

Girl...if you can rock climb, you can conquer the moon!

When we arrived, I saw the pictures and it didn't look too bad.

Don't be chicken shit Pon. Shy only.

All geared and harnessed, I was ready to reach the peak of Sydney Bridge. Had a vision of Fergie having a big 'O' with Prince Philip on Sydney's Coathanger screaming Sydney ..Sydney Bridge ( to the tune of her song of course...) and this made me laugh my fear away ....at least for awhile.

It helped that Nazzie Boy looked worst off, so (sadistic) me smiled a bit knowing I was less of a chicken shit.

Aerin went first and Naz went last.

First of our climbing adventure started with a media privilege -- we took a lift to the starting point.

(mental neenerneenerneener to the general public at that point)

=P

The crew went a level higher so they could record us from above.

It began with 3 VERY Steep flights up.

Now, I hate stairs not cause I am lazy or (ahem) unfit. I have an ear disorder that makes my sense of balancing slightly disoriented. I have (embarrasingly) fallen off stairs/steps way too many times due to this (friggin) disorder... put this together with altophobia, you have a crying 28 year old.

So up Aerin goes with no hesitation, smiling at the camera; and slightly- more- braver- than- Naz me behind her taking each step cautiously.

Then I hear Naz screaming below me.

*arghhhh...almost pussy like*

My mistake happened then.

I looked down to see if he was ok

(being a good concerned friend and all...)

*he was being a wuss*

He was ok

I, on the other hand, was not.

I vowed not to look down, but its like taking a peek at your snot that you blow on your tissue.

The steep, narrow, grill stairs showed right down. My fanny felt tingly (and NOT in that way!) and I chickened out.

(pookeymah)

I was halfway up but I could not move. I dare not move. I looked up to Abang Zul the cameraman pleading for help.

You know the story "the boy who cried wolf?"

Well..he thought I was doing just that...

I saw the director telling me to smile and to wave at the camera, and Nazzie was below me urging me to hurry up..I felt the pressure building and tears started rolling down.

"I'm serious guys...I can't move. I'm scared. Please. Get me out from here"

*wolf...boy..wolf...boy"

"aku serius nie...I takut...tolong la bang...get me out from here..."

(more tears and a trickle of snot)

*NOW they notice I'm not kidding*

"Daph..you kena naik juga. There's no way back!...oh and later for the camera, smile k?"

(wtf?)

Slowly made my way up with much difficulty.

I had my Malcolm in the Middle feeling...

In my mind:

I could see the MatSalleh's looking at me with such disgrace.

I saw the Tourism Australia shaking their heads singing in Gloria Gaynor style L-O-S-E-R!

I saw Nazzie painting his fingernails bright orange waiting for me, and then I saw myself reaching the top of the stairs with grey hair and rotten teeth. (cause I didn't have my Calsium tablets with me)

And just as I saw Fergie downing a Cristal after 'finishing off' Prince (singing Purple Rain), I reached the top of climb one.

"Smile Daph...say something (non negative) to the camera...smile...wipe your tears (& snot) first please..and don't look so blur"

I MADE IT!

But that was just climb one. But I MADE IT!

To cut the story short (cause I need to pee and the music in this internet cafe is killing me....some foreign song that I can't do the running man physically AND mentally to)

I managed to climb my way up to 132 meters above the Sydney Harbour AND catch the Sunset AND watch a woman say yes to a man who proposed to her!

Fish-A-Lingham

I guess Sergio can be appreciated on my ipod for now.

THIS...is something else.