We celebrated Dayana's farewell at EatWorks 2 days ago. Feeling tired from my early assignment, I put on a happy face and went ahead with the troupe despite feeling just not-quite-right.
Sat in the middle and as I absorbed the chatter and laughter around me, I had a "Malcom in the middle" feeling- I felt as if I weren't really there despite them "fighting for attention" to be heard, to be laughed with.
I can't pinpoint that exact feeling...nor do I understand it, but I know I wasn't really with the gang and I felt horribly guilty cause as much as I tried to soak in the atmosphere, my mind was elsewhere.
Called my man on the cellphone --couldn't reach him; and then I remembered he was probably on his helicopter ride checking out sites. So, I smsed him instead and took a mouthful of my spicy grilled dory fish. Again I tried to concentrate on the conversations taking place that day. I think Sheanz noticed something amiss, so she switched places with her boyfriend and asked how my day was. I couldn't talk. Not that I didn't want too, but I couldn't. And I felt more remorse as I cut our conversation short with "things are cool..tiring la..but oklah..."
Perhaps it was just too noisy. Or I was too hungry. Or something was telling me that there was really bad karma that day....
Have you ever felt this way? Something tells you that something is not quite right?
I stared hard at Nazzie's mole to "wake up".
It didn't work, but it did make me smile a bit.